" Thats all folks..."

date: 22/10/2006 1:08 AM

...after having read the entry on Benjamin Franklin in a Readers Digest selection of "Inspiring People: Fifty who made a difference", I'm paralysed by an inexplicable feeling of "nothingness". I was particularly struck by a certain question-"The shrewd, witty and homespun philosopher? The wizard of science? The canny businessman? The revolutionary? Was it possible that anyone could be all this and more?"

Half a decade (thats 5 years in 3 words)ago, I'd have answered that question in the affirmative; afterall my lifelong (for the first 12-15 years of my human life) dream was to become a "polymath".What irony?? Today, at this very moment, I've made a self realisation that I've been living in denial for most part of the year that passed. Hence I rechristen myself the "CIPHERMAN" whose superpowers include an insatiable hunger for inactivity and nothingness.

I feel absolutely "nothing" about "everything that matters". It seems like I ve been waddling in self pity over the loss of possibly the only true blessing in my life, for ever. I'm sinking in the career quagmire, after having effectively dismantled the brightness button on my future's remote control. Yet another academic failure is imminent and I seem to have run out of excuses, especially for the well deserved debacles. I ve no interests, no hobbies, no passtimes and no real friends. I ve even stopped mourning the early demise of my social circle whom I ve subjected to unreasonbly rude criticism for shortcomings and frustrations of my making.

Each day passes without a semblance of activity on any front; worse still is the fact that there isnt any hope for it too..The only real consolation is the fact that I keep reminding myself that its not been like this always. Afterall my aspirations of becoming a sucessful businessman (event management), author, singer, film maker, cricketer, rock star, national level quizzer et all, which at some junture of my past existence seemed tenable if not plausible. The truly amazing change is that even in my dreams today, though I begin in the right earnest, I almost invariably end up a loser.

I seem to have had a drought of feelings, emotions, urge, aspirations, dreams and in short everything that separates me from my arboreal ancestors. Armed with all the circumstantial evidence and the bumps all over my body, the truth finally dawned upon me-" I ve hit ROCK BOTTOM and I'm living there!!!!!" Honestly it still does not move me... Apparently no awakening or upheavels are forthcoming...

However, in all this negativity, I seem to have hit upon an idea to sum up or assess one's thoughts about oneself...SELF ASSESSMENT, is it??Incase you ve heard this idea before, keep that to yourself dont be an arse and kick a corpse...Strictly in my terms I find it a novel yet resourceful way to take stock of one's life. Well, its simply to compose an EPITAPH for oneself (incase she/he were to drop dead immediately after that)

How do I want to be re-membered? I might not want to hazard a guess considering the current melancholic overtures of my mind. Afterall it should take atleast 3 words to qualify as an epitaph and

CONSUMMATELY ZILCH

is a brutally honest option but I atleast want to die with pride...

Diplomatic Indian to Indian Diplomat....

Sir,

: an unsuccessful ending to a struggle or contest
: get the better of
: win a victory over.

The word that best suits the above description is most unpalatable, at all times. Even the very greatest of men have not mastered the art of handling it. This, I presume is because they have not yet been able to master the feeling that accompanies an experience of being thwarted in attaining their goals. But I beg to differ, especially after an article in a leading newspaper where I have witnessed an unprecedented incident; an incident that has forever changed the way at least I will look at it.

This is to extrapolate the effects of your so called "defeat" in the recent race for the coveted position of the UN Secretary General.

I'm a 22 year old typical member of the popular second generation 'Mallu Diaspora', from Hyderabad who refuses to have anything in common with God's own country apart from its natal connexion. Until my most recent visit to the place in question I have invariably detested the very name of the place and its people (kith, kin and everybody in between), simply because of its knowledge-proof, change-proof and snobbish character. But today I declare that there are two reasons that fill me with immense pride to call myself a Malayali. Those reasons are popularly known as "Shashi Tharoor" and "Mohanlal". My tryst with your genius was in a television interview, in which you provided a breathtakingly convincing analogy of Kerala and the United States of America with respect to demographic indicators. The grand finale was the proposition that the Indian minion had equaled the superpower at a quarter of the latters' expense. As a result I've a new found respect for my native and wish to spread the word among my brethren.

Today a well informed colleague whom I share cubicle space with, has dreams of watching his daughter make her "career in Diplomacy "(I deserve a Nobel for introducing another oxymoronic phrase in to the lexicon with conviction). Every time she demonstrates a shade of her so called genius (from understanding limericks to recognizing you in a newspaper); he believes she's taking a leap in the right direction. And by the way she's ten.

We are thankful beyond words for your "defeat", for it has awakened a generation that awaits its turn to emulate your feat with exponential vigour.

Do not consider this an ill timed panegyric or an attempt to assuage the pain of defeat. My aim was only to demonstrate the far spread effect you've had on the lives of Indians who by the way are starved for an intellectual icon for ages. But, now that we have you, that problem seems to have been removed.

I have taken a vow not to edit or look back at the sentences I have written, in order to preserve the purpose of unadulterated appreciation, which I believe you are an opulent recipient of. So kindly be benevolent enough to overlook any lacunae (from grammar to feeling)

"Honour and shame from no condition rise;
Act well your part, there all the honour lies."

Thanks for showing us the honourable way....

Regards,

A proud Indian.


My moment of reckoning follows......

Answerable to you 2...

Here are the answers for the second edition of my quiz..It was by far well cracked!!

1) Shashi Tharoor was the missing one. The list was that of all the contestants.
2) Benazir Bhutto. (Only Priyambad cracked this!!!)
3) The characters were "Cerebra", "Commcast(or Blackbox) & "Thunderbird". The connect being the fact that they are the only characters from the X-series of "INDIAN" origin.(No one got this right!!)
4) Simbly.."Cloning".Pics were that of "Prometea-1st cloned horse", "Snuppy-1st cloned dog" and a spoof on "Dolly"...The George Orwell thingi was jus a Red Herring so to say...
5) Marie & Pierre Curie
6) The McDonald Bros (Richard& Maurice) & Pizza Hut founders(Frank & Dan Carney)People got this in parts.
7) Emmeline Pankhurst(Too many clues..I guess!!)
8) All the villains/negative characters from Disney movies.
9) Mughal-e- Azam. K.Asif, Akbar, Salim & Anarkali(I'd specified roles) and Shapoorji Pallonji
10) All permitted food colours in India.

Scores-
Aditya-6
Priyambad-5.5
J.K- 3.5
P.S.R-2.5

Thanks & regards
Lathish.V

"Intelligence Under Questionable Zone-II"

Hi all...
I'm back even before I left. Heres my next set and as usual kind hearts that make attempts, post your answers as comments or mail them to lathishdavinci@gmail.com This time around I hope that you guys require more time to crack them, so answers in a week's time!!!

1) Connect these people or add another personality to this list....


2) Identify the "chick" shaking hands with Ms. Indira Gandhi




3) Connect these 3 characters...looking for a kinda specific answer!!!


4) Sitter of sitters..connect & identification might also fetch points!!!



5) Identify the coupling..

6) Toughest question of this quiz "by my modest standards"!!Identify these 2 (Yummy) BUSINESS couplings..Just to make things a tad easier, they are 2 separate entities and they are NOT Morgan Stanley, Dow Jones, et all...



7) She founded the Women's Franchise League in 1889 and the Women's Social and Political Union in 1903 with her daughter Christabel Harriette. 33% or 50% reservation, identify "the mother half of the human family"who won women their legitimate( ahem!!)right to vote...


8) Connect in the collage..An exhaustive list of characters of a kind!!! Kindly click on the pic for a better look, for hazaar clues!!!


9) Contributed by Debji for our last KC quiz- A initially cast Sapru, Chandramohan and Nargis for the roles of X, Y and Z. He started the film with Shiraz Ali as the financier1946 but the lead actor passed away due to heart attack. After the partition of India, Shiraz Ali shifted to Pakistan and the film remained incomplete. He restarted the film in 1951 with new star cast and B as the new financier and the rest is literally "history". Start decoding...


10) Trivia-Connect Tartrazine & Sunset Yellow, Carmosine, Ponceau-4R, Erythrosine, Brilliant Blue, Indigo Carmine & Fast Green.

Answerable to you...

Super Duper Flop Ke Liye Khed Hai!!!!

Well for strictly formality sakes, here are the answers(giving them out so soon, coz ...shd I spell it out further?????)

1) Charles Babbage & Ada Lovelace
2) Scrappy Doo & Nibbles/Tuffy
3) Lok Paritrana
4) Paul Tibbets & Enola Gay
5) Howard Hughes & yes, "Spruce Goose"
6) First Succesful Tv Transmission
7) Simply the "History of Ambulances"
8) Hanna Barbera
9) The very first 911 call
10) Connect- Andy warhol
Pic(i) Valerie solanas Pic(ii) Andy Warhol's rendition of pic(i)
Pic(iii) Movie poster of "I shot Andy Warhol" Pic(iv) Google image "Andy Warhol B'day

Points (for formality once again!!)
JK-7
Priyambad-6
PSR-5

Thanx neways ppl!!!

"Intelligence Under Questionable Zone-I"

Hi all
Ive NOT been blogging for sometime now, and it seems as though the proverbial "Writer's block" is here to stay. So thanx to "pattu" and the hazaar other quizzing blogs, ive decided to post a couple of quizzes, until I hit upon a million dollar idea for my next post!!! Those kind enough to attempt it, post ur answers nd suggestions as comments or mail them to lathishdavinci@gmail.com

1) Identify this chap on the stamp & the lady from the portrait. You may call them professionally related...
















2) Kindly furnish "specific" names.












3) Which entity would you associate with this symbol?







4) Sitter- Identify him & his "vaahan".





















5) Yet another man..yet another "vaahan"!!!
















6) In the first week of October, 1925, his test subject was a ventriloquist's dummy, Stooky Bill, which was placed in front of the apparatus.

"The image of the dummy's head formed itself on the screen with what appeared to me an almost unbelievable clarity. I had got it! I could scarcely believe my eyes and felt myself shaking with excitement."
What historical first was being recollected??

7) During the Crusades of the 11th Century, the Knights of St John received instruction in first-aid treatment from Arabs and Greeks. The Knights of St John acted as the first emergency workers, treating soldiers on both sides of the war of the battlefield and thus the concept of XXX started in Europe. The Surgeon-in-Chief of the French Grand Army, "Baron Dominiquie Larrey" created the first official army medical corp. in 1792. Trained attendants with equipment moved out from the field hospitals to give first-aid to the wounded on the battlefield and/or carried them back by stretcher, hand-carts and wagons to the field hospitals. The motorized version of XXX has been in use since the beginning of the 20th century. In the 1950s the United States pioneered helicopter-XXX during the Korean War. Whatitis??

8) Identify the duo-for a clue go to question-2











9) Confessions first, a questionably framed question...The very first instance of this was placed on February 16, 1968 in Haleyville, Alabama made by Alabama Speaker of the House, Rankin Fite and answered by Congressman Tom Bevill.

10) A connect to wrap it up... 4 visuals in all. As pattu would put it,"Put fundaes"!!

Happy quizzing

Lathish.V

13 going on 30...

Aaj kal ke bachche bhi naa……


Why is it that life is no longer as much as fun as it used to be? Even at a relatively young age why does it seem that this abyss of gloom is ever expanding? What was it about childhood that made the simplest of pleasures most endearing, the wildest of indulgences, an innocent pretext of experience?

I guess it is this and not the “string quantum theory” whose validity needs to be authenticated. With a life marked by few accomplishments and fewer but piquant moments of happiness, let me venture into this mysterious dimension, a dimension known to the truly blessed as “ultimate happiness”.

One major reason for the things becoming too sallow and sorrowful is the murder of the freedom to make mistakes. In our younger days we never “thought twice” a fact which colored even the most mundane of situations. Today we don’t think twice but at least 42 times before venturing into simple endeavors because of the fear of failure and the obsession of perfection. As a kid did we ever think of the absolute necessity for perfection? We had no precedent, no experience and most importantly nothing to fear. We became indomitable with the sheer audacity of manner and the simplicity of precision. As time flew past us and the dreaded age caught up with us, it brought along his senile brother- the much loathed experience, who by the way has crippled us in ways more than one.

One of my so called experienced friends, aged 19 considers “age gracefully” the best known oxymoron of the “white man’s” language. In his opinion, which I endorse, how the “6th letter” can one age gracefully? After adolescence/youth, when you get toyed around by the “hormones”, you graduate to mid life crisis and guess what is the icing on the cake?? “Graceful old-age”, fat chance!!! And I was left feeling that the very conversation between a 19 and a 21 year old about “old age” is by itself kinda oxy“moronic”!!!

I loathed just about every other poet back in school when their work meant 2 S.A.Q’s (Short Answer Question) and 1 E.A.Q( Essay Answer Question), because they got away with scribbling gibberish with their quills and died “peacefully” quite contrary to the sleepless nights they gave us before those examination D-days. I’m sure that not one of those men of letters is lying straight in their grave after listening to the interpretations that we have given to their simple verses.

For a specimen let’s look at this innocent stanza from Robert Frost's "The Road not taken":

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

How many of us still bear bumps on our head (from all the head-banging on the wall) trying to decipher the exact mood of his “bloody sigh” when he composed those god-forbidden lines? Some of us felt his sorrow for having lost out on the race in life as a result of the wrong path. While some others dwelled upon his sense of vindication for having taken the path (though less traveled) to success. All that “yours truly” could make out of it was that the poor chap just lost his way in the forest; they had not come up with route maps,cell phones and GSM tracking devices by then u see..

We no longer appreciate the happiness of little yet satisfying things in life because we are what I call “over-educated”. We are forever trying to double guess, play mind games and this is truly the age of “multi dimensional thinking”. Take any person in this whole wide world for instance, we are all getting hyper so to say about who is going to think what, say what, et all…

Our neighbors are busy guessing our military strategy; Zidane is playing mind games to defeat Ballack before which he needs to tackle Luis Figo, Palestine is awaiting Israel’s attack, Shashi Tharoor is trying to gauge the mood of UN member nations, Rakhi Sawant is searching for the next set of celebrity lips, Mahesh Bhatt is waiting for the next Hollywood movie to release in order to make an inspired desi version, Sourav is plotting Chappel’s downfall, Y.S.R is worried about C.B.N, my father is trying his level best to guess “what in the world is my son up to?” and I’m trying hard to control my laughter thinking about how my colleagues and friends will react after reading this?? The worst victim of the multi dimensional thinking is George W(icked) Bush because he has to keep track of so many people in the world; from Osama to Kofi Annan, from Chirac to Hugo Chavez, from Musharraf to Putin and every body else who is minding his own business!!!

And after all this, we have the ultimate tear-jerkers to contend with (read as Karan Johar flicks) and when we are back home we are ushered into the utopic families by "KKKyun ki mama bhi kkabhi kkaka tha"," KKusum", "KKasam se(god-promise)" etc...in addition to the Indian Idle, Sa Re Ga Ma Pa Da Ni, The great indian (pls laugh at us) show and not to mention the hazaar news channels: one fixed on Rakhi Sawant( whatever it takes to be), one on Salman Khan, one on late night parties but none on actual news!!!!!

Women have a way of complicating things...I ll tackle that in my subsequent posts!!! As of now lemme stop and be content with the male "brick bats"


Some more food for thought: Is metrosexuality an excuse for men to cry out loud???


Keep picking your brains...!!!